Mental health week
Set the world on fire!
“Be
who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”
Everywhere I go I keep hearing this saying. But, it is
difficult to take on when being yourself is not always easy. I often feel unable
or not good enough. It is a feeling which can spiral out of control with the
pressures of life.
Since starting to train as a vicar I have learnt a lot
about myself. One key thing is that I am scared to ask for help and when I do not ask for help my body crashes.
It has been a tough month, with lots of work, Easter, a
break in and day to day worries. But, I was not telling anyone how I felt.
I'm a human to, but I felt I needed to be some super disciple
who can cope. That is where I was terribly wrong, because there is a reason we
have Jesus.
I have learnt that it is OKAY to appear weak and cry. I'm
only a human, training to become a vicar doesn't make me any less.
Considering my last post I thought I would tell you a little
about my anxiety and how that has affected me as a person. Especially because
this week is mental health week. Anxiety is horrible, it can cripple you and
leave you feeling powerless. It is a horrible thing. I can't really explain how
I exactly feel when it strikes, but it is not fun.
Recently it hit me, out of nowhere. One minute I was
sitting in a meeting the next I felt like someone was sat on my chest and the entire
world had enclosed me into a tiny box of suffocation. It was horrible. Eating
becomes a problem, I'm constantly exhausted, I do not want to talk to anyone,
exercise or work. For a few days, I will feel like this. Then I will ask for
help and begin to get back to normal. All is then fine.
However, so many people seem to think oh there's nothing
wrong with you, get a grip. Your fine, you have nothing to worry about. Maybe I don't have a concern in the world on the surface, but in my experience, we
all have concerns underneath and these can contain us. I can never explain
where my anxiety comes from. It is normally a straw breaks the camel’s back
situation. But, it is present.
Why am I writing this post?
Well to remind people that just because someone appears
alright on the suffice or like they have got it together, it probably is not
the case. Be kind, respect and love others. We must
ask for help as God created us each individually to set the world on fire. But,
we cannot do that without the love and support of others. What we see on the
outside is or can be very different to what's going on inside.
Be blessed
Steph
#mentalhealthweek #lifestruggles #anxiety #christianblogger
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