2016


Happy New Year everyone!
In general, this year has been extraordinary and was filled by so much joy and laughter. However, it was not all laughs, there was sadness too and those lost will always be remembered. It was generally a good year and I'm looking forward to 2017. So here we are, a year in review.

People began treating me differently:
As soon as you say, you’re going through the process, God willing, to become a vicar, people think you are some kind alien. I have had to learn to understand that people don’t always get what I am doing and just have some grace if they are rude to me.  For this reason, I started this blog in the hope to give people an understanding of what it might mean to be an ordinand and young Christian woman.

I finished my degree:
In June, this year I accomplished a 2:1 in my degree and graduated from the university of Chester. It was ‘’blumin’ hard. Nevertheless, I feel I learnt so much in my three years at Chester uni, from how to look after myself, deal with living with 4 women, to understanding what context theology is, getting to know the gospels and most of all becoming a minor expert on women priests and clothing. I've made some fantastic friends and I am very ready for the next chapter.

I was accepted for training as a priest:
This is probably the most significant thing of this year. It has been a very hard journey with endless interviews and decerning, but I could not be happier. I would not say this has changed my whole life, because when I finished uni I knew things would change. Nevertheless, it has impacted on myself and anyone close to me. It's a journey like no other, but I feel so blessed to be called to this vocation.
I began planning my wedding:
At the end of 2015 my fiancé proposed to me next to where we had our first date. It was perfect. It wasn't the magical princess moment I thought it would be in my head. It was the perfect moment for Harry and I. So, this year meant I had to start planning. We now have a date, a room, some bridesmaids, food, decorations, transport and venues. There is still so much to plan, but we have plenty of time to do it.
 God has plans I don't like:
I desperately wanted to go away to train to be a vicar and I had a place at Ridley College Cambridge. But I have never felt God say no to something more in my little life. I felt like God was taking something away from me that I so desperately wanted. The mode I am training in instead is wonderful. Even if this summer was very stressful, trusting and waiting upon God, I am 98% sure I am doing what is right.

I bought a table and chairs:
This may not sound a big thing for my friends with children and a house, but for me it is huge. It means I am growing up. I now own a sofa as well, that I bought with my own money! This all means I have moved out from home, nearly (sorry mom) and beginning to make my way on God’s earth. Any one who says growing up is easy is lying or abnormal.

I re-took up a new sport:
When I finished uni and returned to Chester I realised that many of my friends had either left Chester or were a Christian. Now it's wonderful that my friends are coming to know God, but I needed to get outside the Christian bubble too. I decided to start playing netball again. I played at school and captained the team. I had defiantly forgotten how to shoot and some of the rules, however it is a lot of fun and has been a great way to meet new people.

What are my plans for this year? Well I’ll post that in the new year. I hope everyone reading this has had some good parts in 2016 and is looking forward to 2017.

Be blessed
 Steph xoxo

An Ordinands first Christmas

Well that's it done and dusted, finito! My first Christmas as an ordinand!

The two weeks before Christmas I -
Sung away in a manger approximately 10 times,
Watched the advent wreath melt until nothing was left,
Ate a lot of mince pies (four in one day),
Dressed up as the Angel Gabriel,
Heard around 6 wonderful versions of the nativity story.

As fun as it all was I am shattered and extremely glad for a rest. Looking back on this last busy month there are some things which have become apparent to me I would like to share. 

1. Christmas is busy and when I say busy I mean gong above and beyond normal working hours and I didn't do all the services. It made me realise just how much clergy give up to allow the story of Jesus' birth to be spread to all. Yes it is fun, but whilst everyone else can enjoy family time clergy work very hard to make events and services happen. 

2. This was my first Christmas where I didn't wake up in my parent's home because I had to work. This was a blessing in disguise. It was a blessing because I got to be with my future in laws and fiancé on Christmas morning, but I found it so hard not being with my parents. It was the first of many Christmases where I'll be away and where God wants me next could be the other side of the country. It was a touch of realisation for me that things are changing. 

3. However smoothly you plan a service to be you have to learn to go with the flow. Whether it's because a person becomes sick and can't be the shepherd or the child who was meant to say some lines in a service is scared. I had to quickly learn how to go with the flow, smile and realise there is always someone else willing to help you out (Even if it is because they feel sorry for you because you're the ordinand.)

4. It's good to be prepared to be a little silly. Dressing up as the Angel Gabriel will always make people smile. Some wings, a few nativity masks and a halo will hold you in good stead, as will the willingness not to be too serious and have some fun.

5. Christmas is not a time of joy for all. Taking time to pray and remembering those who are alone, ill and desperate need of help is important. Whether that means helping out a busy mum, visiting the elderly, providing food for food banks or being part of a mass Christmas dinner. It's definitely worth while.

6. Having an opportunity to serve God over Christmas is a blessing. Working in retail was very busy too but I never got to experience all the Christmas services and spend so much time with Jesus remembering what it must have been like some 2000 years ago waiting for the Christ child to be born. 
I hope everyone did have a joyous Christmas but for me it is now time to rest.

Be blessed
Steph xoxo

Wine and the dog collar

More wine Vicar?: ABSOLUTELY

If I ever get asked in the future, "Can I offer you more tea vicar" I will be tempted to asked for a double scotch instead and see how they react.



Since training to be a vicar I have been very aware of the misconception that vicars and Christians cannot have fun. That somehow believing in an everlasting God that has created all these 'rules' for us to live by means you cannot enjoy life. I disagree as would many of my Christians friends. 

I have a wonderful friend who has an illness a lot like M.E, because of this she had two choices; give up, or enjoy life. She chooses to enjoy life as she believes God would want her to get the most out of her life. I agree, Ecclesiastes 8:15 tells us; "So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun". This verse reminds us of this too, thus I am going to enjoy life whilst serving God. Recently I went away with the college I train at and whilst I was there I drank, I danced (as part of a ceilidh), went on a crazy run through a lot of mud and all in all had an enjoyable week. It was great fun! Nevertheless, people seem to think I cannot have fun and have a glass of wine. Instead an opinion that has been made known to me is that I should be some kind of recluse that doesn't know how to enjoy herself. 

I do and I do not know one Christian who doesn't. 

I love God and all that the Christian faith stands for which means how I have fun maybe different from someone else. As a university fresher, I went out, drank and still made it to my lecture the next day I tried to keep my feet in both the Christian and the secular world. I however, felt that this was not appropriate to continue as my faith developed. This is not to say I do not enjoy a good night out, but instead make sure I am in control of myself. Thus, I found a way to engage in a student culture but also not do something I may regret. 

It is hard to be a Christian in today's world; it is even harder to admit you are a trainee vicar at the age of 22. I was once told by someone that I was throwing my life away by doing 'this job'. When in reality I am happy, I enjoy (most days) and am very excited for what God has in store for me. Becoming a Christian is one of the most life giving things I have done that gives me amazing opportunities to experience the world, to serve people through God and genuinely have a good time.

And if you still think being a Christian is boring why not visit a night club church, a forest church or  take a look at this website 
http://www.4muk.com. Then maybe you'll rethink how you view that 'weird' Christian you work with.


Be Blessed,


Steph xoxo








Fashion and the dog collar




“I thought you oughta to know that if you want become a priest you will need to change how you dress. You cannot wear such fancy clothes.” OUCH! 
And I thought my dress was lovely.
This particular comment was made when I was still discerning the vocation of becoming a priest and it eventually became the starting topic for my undergraduate degree dissertation. Yes it upset me that much that I choose to write 9400 words based on one comment. I think it made me so angry because I love clothes and I reflect who I am through them. It also hurt me because it made me think that people must box up what a priest is and looks like. I then began to question, does this mean do I need to look like a white male? Do I need to rethink my appearance? Do people expect a 20year old women to  dress like a man and disguise herself? Sorry but I'm not prepared to do that.  I can be me and respectively represent Jesus to.
I hate to break it to people but the church is changing and many trainee priests and current priests are no longer hiding behind a male image. Consequently those who want to are reflecting their personalities through dress and becoming much more experimental in dressing with the dog collar. This is also reflected in recent articles in the church times. Nevertheless, female priests seem to be heavily scrutinised for their clothing choices. Sally Hitchiner was scrutinised for her dress by a blogger who described her as a:
‘sort of spectacle that traditional Anglicans feared when they allowed the ordination of women[…] We wouldn't expect a policewoman to accessorise her uniform like this - nor do her hair up like she's off to a ball[…] It's as though she's not taking the church seriously[...] Hitchiner was "parading" herself on TV with a "dog collar attached to a clubber's outfit", a combination which makes the church look ridiculous’.
Despite this, Hitchiner maintained her choice of clothing was suitable for her job as a priest and a university chaplain. She also questioned why it was wrong for a priest to be concerned and interested in fashion and Prada. I see no problem with this. As a result of Hitchiner’s style choices and other more daring priests they have paved the way for other women. As originally Hitchiner followed ‘the unwritten rules of the church’ and dressed dowdily, but ‘now she dresses in a way which reflects her personality’. And I am very glad she does this!

The women I interviewed for my dissertation all had stories of being scrutinised for their dress. I understand that priests should dress for the situation, but they should be able to enjoy the world of clothes and fashion! For example, it may not be appropriate to wear your biker jacket with your dog collar when visiting the new elderly couple in the parish, they may not appreciate it as much as you do. But, wearing it to visit the local biker pub would be a great opportunity to evangelise as, they’ll perceive you as being more on their wavelength and connect with you more easily.
 I feel many people have become lost in what the church has looked like and still does in some cases. Nevertheless, the church is an exciting place to be that is looking forward and the change in how's women priests are dressing is a small reflection of this.

In my opinion, it is good for a priest to be creative with how they dress as it leads to conversations and creates a new image of the church. So next time you’re out shopping and you see a pretty selection of high necked tops let me know because it'll go great with a dog collar.
 Be blessed

Steph