Down by the riverside, down by the riverside…

Down by the riverside, down by the riverside…

These lyrics are embedded in my mind after. I first heard them in Paris with my family, then  every time I got in my Dad's car. I have no idea what the rest of the lyrics are, but they have always stuck with me.

These song lyrics have become more and more meaningful over the last few years. This is because when I am in prayer with God I see myself down by the riverside, with Jesus. I also imagine the Holy Spirit flowing like a river through people, roads and buildings, spreading the Lord's Kingdom. 

Lately, I have spent a lot of time down by the riverside and have discovered other people picture this too. I just thought I was strange, nevertheless I found out that I wasn't the only person who sees rocks which represent challenges in life. It was really comforting and interesting to see how God speaks to me and others in the same way. This may sound totally ridiculous to others, but to me I honestly feel it is when I am down by the riverside with God that he speaks to me most. 

Recently I have spent a lot of time down by the riverside. I have been going through quite a few forming and changing things. Training to be a Vicar is hard. It forms you and changes you in all sorts of ways. I feel like I am a sculpture and right now God is doing some serious work. Perhaps He has hacked off a block to carve out my arm. Whatever it is, I know he is doing this to make me the Steph he wants me to be and I need to go through this hard time for God’s plan for me. 

One thing I have learnt from this forming period is that I am a MASSIVE EXTERNAL PROCESSOR! This for some people can make me the most irritating and difficult to person, if you perhaps do not understand how a brain like mine works. I have been like a Steph tsunami of emotions. I have felt my calling is not real, any hurtful things said to me have felt extremely hard to hear, I have felt like I can not do my job, that my hopes and future have been ripped away…

Every day since all of this has been happening  I have been trying to figure out what I need to learn from all these events. For this reason, I have been going down to the riverside with God regularly in my prayer time. I feel I am at a point with God that I can see what he is doing and what I need to learn from these events. I am very grateful for my close family, friends, tutors and supervisor who are walking this journey with me, supporting me and caring for me. 

I may not be God,s sculpture of David yet; I have a long way to go. I, however, want to encourage anyone reading this to spend time with Jesus in the hard times. I hope that you will be able to ask God to show you the massive feats that you have already overcome, to give you courage to carry on. No one is perfect, we are all still works of art being made. And like all art, there are parts which need painting that are much harder than others. 

Be Blessed,

Steph 

xoxo

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