Lent make-up fast

We are in lent! It does not seem 5 minutes since I began my training and we are already on the way to Easter.

So, what is lent for those reading this who may not know…'Lent is a season of forty days, not counting Sundays, which begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Holy Saturday. Lent comes from the Anglo Saxon word lencten, which means "spring." The forty days represents the time Jesus spent in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satan and preparing to begin his ministry. Lent is a time of repentance, fasting and preparation for the coming of Easter. It is a time of self-examination and reflection. In the early church, Lent was a time to prepare new converts for baptism. Today, Christians focus on their relationship with God, often choosing to give up something or to volunteer and give of themselves for others. Sundays in Lent are not counted in the forty days because each Sunday represents a "mini-Easter" and the reverent spirit of Lent is tempered with joyful anticipation of the Resurrection.'

Lent for me is not just about giving chocolate up to help me on my way to a summer body. It is something much more meaningful, with the aim to become closer to God.

This year I have chosen to fast from make-up. I have chosen to do this as it became apparent to me I had a problem when I wouldn’t go to a morning prayer session without ‘putting’ on my eyebrows at a church weekend away. Make-up for me has never been something I do for fun but rather something I feel I need to put on to cover up my imperfections. People keep telling me I do not need make-up to look nice. Perhaps I don’t, but that does not immediately take away my belief that I do need them to look beautiful. It is hardly surprising I feel this way when the images the media presents of people are heavily airbrushed and social media images are overtly edited making me and many others feel inadequate. Other factors also have probably played a part in this feeling of being inadequate. For example, when I was at school, it was odd if you didn’t wear make-up, comments of the way I looked and my body shape have stuck with me even now.

In my ordination journey I felt now was the time I needed to overcome this and learn to love what God has given me. I find myself telling others they are beautiful and they do not need make-up or to change the way they look. So, it is time I listen to my own advice and learn to love what God made me to look like. Ultimately, I hope I can help others to love the skin God gave them to without being a hypocrite.

How am I going to do this? I have decided I am not just going to cold turkey, but I am going to get rid of something each week instead to ease myself in and learn to show a part of myself I like to change. I am also going to use the extra time I have in the morning to pray for my own confidence, for others confidence and to find out more about myself.

The below list tells you what I am giving up, when and what I feel it does:

Week 1-foundation, powder, bronzer, lipstick (I hate my rosy cheeks and how red my face gets)

Week 2- Eye brow pencil (I plucked half my eyebrows out when I was 13)

Week 3-Concealer (to hide those bags under my eyes)

Week 4-Mascara (Extra-long lashes make me feel like I am on a catwalk)

Rest of lent make-up free

When lent is over I probably will go back to wearing make-up. But, I hope it will be because I enjoy doing I and want to. Not because I feel I must.

Every Blessing,

Steph

xoxo

#lent #christianblogger #makeup #fasting

Skin Care and Prayer

The below post was written by my friend Jess as I thought it would be nice for other fantastic women Priests or potential Priests to contribute their experiences  aswell!

Skin Care & Prayer

When Steph asked me to do this post, I was (and still am) honoured! My name is Jess and I am currently spending my days working at a church in Clapham called Holy Trinity, and in my spare time, I am praying about God’s calling on my life. I will soon be going to a BAP (Bishop’s Advisory Panel) which is a posh name for a 3 day interview where the panel ask you lots of questions to see if you’re right to become a vicar. So by April I should know if I can train to be a priest, which makes me about a year behind Steph at the moment!

So why did Steph ask me to do a post? Well, let’s just say I have a quirky prayer routine. Whilst thinking about when I pray, and when I could spare some more time to give to God, I started to think about where I spend my time. And I concluded that I spend about 30 minutes a day in front of a mirror, washing my face. Now that seems extreme, but that’s 15 minutes in the morning, and again in the evening. Within those 15 minutes I have a cleanse, tone and moisturise routine. Now, you might be thinking, ‘yes, but what does that have to do with prayer?’ Well, let me tell you…

One morning as I was washing my face, I started to pray. And I linked the significance of my skincare routine to what I was praying. I started with cleansing, and as I rubbed the cleanser into my skin, I started to say sorry for the things I had done wrong that day. When it came to wiping away the cleanser, it helped me to remember that I am forgiven. Jesus was the eternal sacrifice so that I may be forgiven, always. And that really helped to engage with God daily. Remembering the sacrifice of sending the Son to die for me, so that I may be forgiven and have eternal life, that is so important to think about every day. And it’s so easy to forget, especially in the good times of life, so every time I cleanse my face, I am reminded that I am made clean, only because Jesus shed His blood for me.

The next step in my skin care routine is my toner. Now I’m not ENTIRELY sure what toner actually does. But I’m pretty sure it is something to do with restoring balance to my skin. So as I spray toner onto my face, and pat it dry with a cotton wool pad, I ask for God’s guidance, that I will have a balanced life, that God will guide me to the places that He has called me to. And my final part of my skincare routine is my moisturiser. That is the nourishing part of my skincare routine, and for this prayer I give God thanks. I say thank you Lord for everything you have done for me this day, and I praise God for the things that have brought me joy and nourishment.

I love doing this, because it helps me to settle my mind on God. It is one of the first things I do in the morning, and the last thing I do at night. So it really helps me to focus on God, and reflect on the day ahead, or that has passed. It’s a little quirky, but it really works for me. I am able to utilise my time spent looking after my skin as time spent with God too! It’s a physical and spiritual nourishment all at once!

So my prayer for each person who is reading this is that you are able to take the every day, mundane tasks and give them to God. You are able to reflect on the ways in which God can fit into the repetitive tasks, and spend time with God whilst you do them. Please do pray whilst you do your skincare routine, or perhaps it’s when you are walking your dog, or when you are doing the washing up. Whenever it is that you find that you could be spending that time with God, whilst continuing to do whatever it is you do, I pray that you will have the courage to step out and pray at the times that are least expected. Make a routine of it. I have and it feels so good to know that I will be spending time with God whilst looking after the skin my Saviour gave me.

Jess

x

#christianwomen #prayer #skincare

Being Called and Telling Others.

You are going to do what!!!!! Yes, yes I am.

Telling someone you were going to begin training as a Church and England vicar can be daunting as you just do not know the response you are going to get. When I worked in retail I experienced some of the strangest reactions. It was really hard to hear some of the things told to me. It upset me and made me angry. It also made me want to tell people more about my calling in hope that I would help change their negative views of faiths. 

What People Said	What I thought
You do not look like your average priest.	What does one look like, do they have two heads?
(Sarcastically) I'll say a little prayer for you then mate.	Ermmm thanks…I think
I've never seen a vicar in ripped jeans.	I’m not a vicar just going to train, but why shouldn’t they wear ripped jeans?! (Tries to suppress anger)
Why on earth would you want to do that?	Well I had a calling
Are you joking?	Here we go again…
Can women even do that?	Yes, the first woman was priested in 1994 actually !

I didn't just have negative reactions, I had some lovely responses to;

·         Well what a lovely young lady you are, the church needs people like you!

·         I think it is great!

·         What a joy it is for someone so young doing something so worthwhile with their life.

·         I am so excited for you, I will keep you in my prayers.

The fact the negative responses outweigh the positive tells me that there is a huge amount of people who are sheltered from religion, have had bad experiences or simply do not understand what it means to be a priest. For this reason, I am briefly going to explain why I, a 20 something year old feels called to this vocation.

I have gone to church since I was a small child and I hated it. It was the same songs week in week out and I got bored, but whether God existed was never an issue. I remember praying to God that I would be next in the talent show. It was not till I was older that I returned to church. When I was 16 I went to a Christian conference and here is where I experienced what I would call a vision of me preaching to thousands of people. However, after this happened I had an unhappy time, dealing with family death and sickness and getting out of a very unhappy relationship. For a period of time I turned away from a Christian life, going to church but not living like a Christian. I did things I regret, I have defiantly sworn, drunk too much and acted in a way that you may think inappropriate for a future priest. These experiences made me who I am today. I felt convicted to change the way I acted, my dresses got slightly longer and my hot pants became a thing of the past.

Soon after a friend confronted me asking me about my future and I told them that I felt called to go into church leadership-to which they replied why not now? I soon came to realise that all the things which had happened to me were in God's plan. Jerimiah 29:11 is my all-time favourite verse and has kept me strong through everything.  People kept telling me have you thought of becoming a vicar, you would be so good. As soon as I pursued it the doors flew open.  It was so exciting. Yes, the church exciting! So here I am today, following God’s plan for me.

Be blessed

Steph

A Surprise Date: Silence

Silence

Now this is not quite in keeping with my usual posts, but after watching this film with my beloved last week it got us thinking a lot about the secret and persecuted church.

I knew nothing about this film on the day I watched it as it was a surprise date. Yes, I get taken to see films about persecution as a surprise date, what can I say, this is obviously true romance! When I found out what we were going to see, I wasn’t sold, but we went anyway.

I did not enjoy this film the way I would enjoy The Holiday, Bruce Almighty or a Harry Potter film. I enjoyed it because it got me thinking. I wished I had my note book with me to note down all the amazing and challenging things God was raising in us as we watched.

Silence is Directed by Martin Scorsese who as the Church Times notes, ‘just can’t leave God alone’ after directing other films based around Christianity such as The Last Temptation of Christ. Before Scorsese became a director, he began training as a Catholic Priest, so this explains the importance of Christianity to him. His most recent endeavour, is an adaptation of the book by the Japanese write Shusaku Endo set in the 17^th Century. The film tells the story of two young, and perhaps naive priests, Rodrigues and Garrupe who go to Japan to find Fr Ferreira. Though this is no straight forward task, and they soon find themselves administering as missionaries, all while hiding from the Japanese authorities while spreading to word of God. This is not a true story, but rather a historical fiction focusing on the work of missionaries in 17^th Century; an extremely dangerous time where priests were hunted throughout Japan. As well as this Rodrigues character is also based on an Italian missionary Giuseppe Chiara, who did missionary work in Japan.

As Harry and I walked out the cinema we did not know what to say, all I could think is ‘thank God I won’t be sent to do my curacy in 17^th century Japan’. Though, once we got in the car we began discussing some of the film’s imagery and how appropriate it is to what is happening in the world now. (Syria, Eritrea, China, North Korea to name a few, Open Doors even have a persecution watchlist (http://www.opendoorsuk.org/). The film depicts the mental, physical and spiritual torture these priests went through because they would not deny God. They were effectively bullied into denying the existence of God by stepping or spitting on icons of Jesus. If they did not do this, they were killed or tortured until they did. Yet there was one character, Kichijiro, who always falling away from God, much like Peters denying of Jesus. We could not help but think he is like us as followers of Jesus, as he kept going back to the priests, begging for forgiveness from God. The film also depicts another character, The Inquisitor, which could be a symbol for the devil. Throughout the film, he repeatedly preaches to Rodrigues that Japan is a swamp and nothing will grow there. This made me think of the Parable of the Sower, Mark 4:10-20. Verse 15 says ‘ Some people are like a seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.’  It seems Japan, at this time, was like this path.

So how did it make us feel as Christians? In Harry’s words ‘ As a film, I found this deeply challenging to my work in mission and as a follower of Jesus. The suffering and lengths to which these Christians are pushed is shocking, not in its depiction, but in the motivation for it. These men and women suffer because they believe in Jesus. It put into perspective what Jesus tells us when he says “deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me” in Mark. Being a Christian, is about being prepared to be outcast, spat at, beat up and ultimately murdered for your faith in Christ. It’s rough, it’s hard and to be honest I hate to even put myself in the shoes of those Christians depicted in the film.

What the film highlights so well, is that in our lives we will have times of silence, where we feel distant from God, where we feel like he isn’t even there anymore. In this film, it’s so bleak; it looks like God’s kingdom break through is impossible. It looks like evil has overcome, but it hasn’t! Because Jesus already suffered this road of persecution and death when he poured out his grace on the cross; for those characters, for me, for you. He is so close to us, holding us and lavishing his grace upon us; his amazing, unending and scandalous grace! It’s ok to feel like everything is stacked against you and it’s ok to feel like you can’t hold on in persecution, Jesus went through it too, he understands. God shows in this film, that he turns up, he won’t forsake us. But he does it his way; because he knows best. We might feel like no good can come out of a situation, but ‘impossible’ is not in God’s dictionary’.

I think it is fair to say that as Christian’s who so outwardly express their faiths, this film hit hard and is one we keep discussing after seeing it due to current affairs.  I recommend it to anyone who has a heart for the persecuted church or who wants a reminder of some are things people go through for Christ. But, whatever you do, do not take noisy food. The film lives up to its name.

Be Blessed

Steph and Harry.

Here are some other links about the film if you wish to take a look.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/slices/watch-andrew-garfield-discuss-discovering-jesus-spiritual-warfare-and-more-stephen-colbert

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/slices/andrew-garfield-silence-showed-him-how-easy-it-was-fall-love-jesus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqrgxZLd_gE

2017

We are nearly a week into the New Year and I have decided a few things I want to give a go this year. These are not new year’s resolutions, as the world will not end if I do not achieve them. They are just things I want to attempt this. But, if all else fails I have Jesus so that’s cool to!

So here we go 10 things I am going to give a go this year.

1.       Play my first netball match

A fun way to exercise, meet new people and have a laugh. I am so much happier after I have exercised and I would 100% recommend taking up a new sport to anyone.

2.       Read the Bible in 90 days

I keep trying to commit to reading the whole Bible in a year but I get distracted and would rather read the bits I like to read during my daily Bible time. So I'm just going to go for it and commit to it.

3.       Sort my body out

I have a bit of a rubbish body. When I'm stressed or anxious my stomach creates too much acid which means when I eat I feel sick. At the end of this year I even put off going out for food with my friends because I was so scared of feeling this way in front of people. On the up side, I have found a solution. Nevertheless, it would be nice not to have to take a tablet every day.

4.       Journal more

I'm an external processor and keep being advised to journal. I'm going to attempt to do this more this year. I'll let you know how it goes.

 5.       Get on a plane on my own

I'm terrified of flying and before I get married I want to prove to myself I can fly alone. What better way to do it then go and do some good in the world and do a mission trip?

6.       Blog more about a Jesus

God is awesome and people need to know this. Need I say more.

7.       Be bolder

Whether that means wearing more brightly coloured tights, trying new things, doing an open water swim (yes I have researched this) go on adventures or sticking to my guns more. I'm going to give it a go.

8.       Try new exciting recipes

Trying to eat well and healthy can be hard when you are busy. This year I intend on being more organised, meal plan and try new exciting healthy recipes to care for my body

9.       Read more story books

Getting lost in the world of a book can be magical but I often watch telly at the end of a busy day. I think it's time to change this.

10.    Get up earlier

It's time I am loyal to my alarm and rise and shine! There's so much I could do if I wasn't lazy in the morning. I could go swimming before work, eat a nutritious breakfast, read, house work. The list could go on.

I could fail at all these things, but I'm going to try to do as many as I can this year! I think it is important to enjoy life as you never know what is around the corner.

What are your New Years resolutions? Leave a comment and let me know?

Be blessed Steph xoxo

2016

Happy New Year everyone!

In general, this year has been extraordinary and was filled by so much joy and laughter. However, it was not all laughs, there was sadness too and those lost will always be remembered. It was generally a good year and I'm looking forward to 2017. So here we are, a year in review.

People began treating me differently:

As soon as you say, you’re going through the process, God willing, to become a vicar, people think you are some kind alien. I have had to learn to understand that people don’t always get what I am doing and just have some grace if they are rude to me.  For this reason, I started this blog in the hope to give people an understanding of what it might mean to be an ordinand and young Christian woman.

I finished my degree:

In June, this year I accomplished a 2:1 in my degree and graduated from the university of Chester. It was ‘’blumin’ hard. Nevertheless, I feel I learnt so much in my three years at Chester uni, from how to look after myself, deal with living with 4 women, to understanding what context theology is, getting to know the gospels and most of all becoming a minor expert on women priests and clothing. I've made some fantastic friends and I am very ready for the next chapter.

I was accepted for training as a priest:

This is probably the most significant thing of this year. It has been a very hard journey with endless interviews and decerning, but I could not be happier. I would not say this has changed my whole life, because when I finished uni I knew things would change. Nevertheless, it has impacted on myself and anyone close to me. It's a journey like no other, but I feel so blessed to be called to this vocation.

I began planning my wedding:

At the end of 2015 my fiancé proposed to me next to where we had our first date. It was perfect. It wasn't the magical princess moment I thought it would be in my head. It was the perfect moment for Harry and I. So, this year meant I had to start planning. We now have a date, a room, some bridesmaids, food, decorations, transport and venues. There is still so much to plan, but we have plenty of time to do it.

 God has plans I don't like:

I desperately wanted to go away to train to be a vicar and I had a place at Ridley College Cambridge. But I have never felt God say no to something more in my little life. I felt like God was taking something away from me that I so desperately wanted. The mode I am training in instead is wonderful. Even if this summer was very stressful, trusting and waiting upon God, I am 98% sure I am doing what is right.

I bought a table and chairs:

This may not sound a big thing for my friends with children and a house, but for me it is huge. It means I am growing up. I now own a sofa as well, that I bought with my own money! This all means I have moved out from home, nearly (sorry mom) and beginning to make my way on God’s earth. Any one who says growing up is easy is lying or abnormal.

I re-took up a new sport:

When I finished uni and returned to Chester I realised that many of my friends had either left Chester or were a Christian. Now it's wonderful that my friends are coming to know God, but I needed to get outside the Christian bubble too. I decided to start playing netball again. I played at school and captained the team. I had defiantly forgotten how to shoot and some of the rules, however it is a lot of fun and has been a great way to meet new people.

What are my plans for this year? Well I’ll post that in the new year. I hope everyone reading this has had some good parts in 2016 and is looking forward to 2017.

Be blessed

 Steph xoxo

An Ordinands first Christmas

Well that's it done and dusted, finito! My first Christmas as an ordinand!

The two weeks before Christmas I -

Sung away in a manger approximately 10 times,

Watched the advent wreath melt until nothing was left,

Ate a lot of mince pies (four in one day),

Dressed up as the Angel Gabriel,

Heard around 6 wonderful versions of the nativity story.

As fun as it all was I am shattered and extremely glad for a rest. Looking back on this last busy month there are some things which have become apparent to me I would like to share. 

1. Christmas is busy and when I say busy I mean gong above and beyond normal working hours and I didn't do all the services. It made me realise just how much clergy give up to allow the story of Jesus' birth to be spread to all. Yes it is fun, but whilst everyone else can enjoy family time clergy work very hard to make events and services happen. 

2. This was my first Christmas where I didn't wake up in my parent's home because I had to work. This was a blessing in disguise. It was a blessing because I got to be with my future in laws and fiancé on Christmas morning, but I found it so hard not being with my parents. It was the first of many Christmases where I'll be away and where God wants me next could be the other side of the country. It was a touch of realisation for me that things are changing. 

3. However smoothly you plan a service to be you have to learn to go with the flow. Whether it's because a person becomes sick and can't be the shepherd or the child who was meant to say some lines in a service is scared. I had to quickly learn how to go with the flow, smile and realise there is always someone else willing to help you out (Even if it is because they feel sorry for you because you're the ordinand.)

4. It's good to be prepared to be a little silly. Dressing up as the Angel Gabriel will always make people smile. Some wings, a few nativity masks and a halo will hold you in good stead, as will the willingness not to be too serious and have some fun.

5. Christmas is not a time of joy for all. Taking time to pray and remembering those who are alone, ill and desperate need of help is important. Whether that means helping out a busy mum, visiting the elderly, providing food for food banks or being part of a mass Christmas dinner. It's definitely worth while.

6. Having an opportunity to serve God over Christmas is a blessing. Working in retail was very busy too but I never got to experience all the Christmas services and spend so much time with Jesus remembering what it must have been like some 2000 years ago waiting for the Christ child to be born. 

I hope everyone did have a joyous Christmas but for me it is now time to rest.

Be blessed

Steph xoxo